Geronta, what should someone answer to young children who ask if the monastic life is higher than the married life?

First, help them to understand what is man’s destiny and the meaning of life. Next, explain that the Church blesses both of these paths, because both are able to lead them to Paradise if they live according to God’s will. Let’s say that two people set out on a pilgrimage. The first goes by bus, while the other goes on foot; but they both have the same destination. God rejoices in the first just as he is amazed by the second. What’s bad is when the one who goes by footpath judges the one who goes by bus, or vice versa.

It’s good for youth who think about monasticism to know that the monk’s vocation is very great: it is to become an Angel. Christ told the Sadducees that in the next life, in Heaven, we will live as Angels. [1] For this reason many youth—those with much philotimo [2]—become monastics and begin the angelic life in this life.

One should not, however, think that whoever goes to the monastery will be saved just because they’ve become monastics. Each person will answer before God whether he sanctified the life he chose. In other words, philotimo is needed everywhere. God does not make some people successful and others good-for-nothing. Whoever is without philotimo—regardless of the path they chose to follow—will end up good-for-nothing, whereas the one with philotimo prospers, wherever he is found, because divine Grace is found within him. There are married people who live very virtuously and who become sanctified. A family man who loves God and is drawn by divine eros is able to make great spiritual progress. In the meantime his children are endowed with virtues, a good family is created, and he shall receive a double portion from God.

Each youth must have as his aim to become holy, with philotimo and without anxiety, thus sanctifying the life he or she will choose. Does he want marriage? Then let him marry, but let him struggle to become a good family man, and to live a holy life. Does he want monasticism? Then let him become a monk, but let him struggle to become a good monk. In short, let him measure his own strength that he may be able to advance along one of the two paths. F or example, if a girl sees that she doesn’t have the strength to become a nun, then she should tell God humbly: “My God, I am weak; I can’t live as a nun; send me a man who will help me so that I can create a good family and live spiritually.” God will grant this to her. If she marries and makes a good family, living according to the Gospel, God will not ask from her more than this.

Of course, there are young people of whom God asks little, but due to their philotimo, they struggle greatly and offer more to Him by choosing the monastic life. These shall receive double crowns. In other words, if a person senses a calling for married life, but wants, because of philotimo, to sacrifice everything and embrace monastic life, this greatly moves God. But this person must be careful to examine their motives to ensure they are pure and not due to pride. Thenceforth God will eliminate all obstacles [hindering the chosen path].

Translation by Fr. Luke Hartung from the book Family Life [in Greek], by Elder Paisios the Athonite, published by the Sacred Hesychastirion of St. John the Evangelist, Souroti, Greece (2002).