Category Archives: Writings of Elder Paisios the Athonite

Choosing a Profession

—Geronta, some parents try to steer their children towards their own professions, and often get very pushy at it.

—No, they don’t manage well. Parents shouldn’t pressure their children unwillingly to do that which they enjoy themselves. I knew one young man who wanted to study theology and become a priest, but his mother wouldn’t let him; she forced him to go into medicine. The young man had studied Byzantine music and chanted; had made his own musical instrument; had learned the tones on his own; and knew the music by heart. He had a gift. He wrote troparia and services. As soon as he finished high school he took the entrance exams and got into Theological School. His mother suffered nervous shock from her anxiety. She would come to me later and beg me: “Pray for me to get well, Father, and I’ll let my child do whatever he wants.” When she got well she again refused to let him do what he wanted. Later he abandoned it all and finally wasted away. Read more →

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Work is a Blessing

—Geronta, in the old days they would say, “Better to wear out your shoes rather than blankets.” What did they mean?

—They meant, “Better to wear out your shoes by working than to stay in bed and be lazy.” Work is a blessing, a gift of God. It gives energy to the body, refreshment to the nous. If God had not given us work, man would have become idle. Hard workers do not stop even in old age. If they stop working while they still have strength, they end up suffering from depression; this is death for them. I remember one little old man in Konitsa, almost ninety years old, who worked continuously. He finally died out in the fields, two hours from home. Read more →

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Temptations on Feast Days

—Geronta, why do temptations often occur on feast days?

—Don’t you know? On feast days, Christ, the Panagia, and the Saints are joyful. They treat people, giving blessings and spiritual gifts. If parents give gifts when their children celebrate their namedays and kings release prisoners when a prince is born, why shouldn’t the Saints care for us on special occasions, too? Certainly the joy they give greatly endures and our souls are greatly helped. Knowing this the devil creates temptations in order to deprive people of the Divine gifts: they neither rejoice nor benefit from the feast. Sometimes you even see when a family is preparing to commune on a feast day, that the devil will send them a temptation to fight and then not only do they not commune, but they don’t even go to church! That’s how the little demon does it, so as to be deprived of all Divine help. Read more →

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Relationships with Relatives and Friends

—Geronta, a certain woman asked what to do with her two cousins who have been freeloading off her for years.

—What does she want? To write a new Gospel now? God asks of her to help them and He will do whatever helps their souls.

—Geronta, when there is a misunderstanding between relatives, should someone say something to help the situation?

—Yes, something should be said to help because silence may do harm. If they misunderstand your intentions you should go to them again and say, “Forgive me for worrying you;” from then on leave them alone and pray for them. Read more →

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A Mother’s Love

Geronta, you once told us that with love, a person grows and matures.

—It’s not enough for someone to simply love another; he must love him more than he loves himself. A mother loves her children more than herself. She fasts so as to feed her children, yet she experiences more gratitude than they. The little children are fed bodily and the mother spiritually. They experience the pleasure of taste, while she spiritual rejoicing.

A young girl before marrying is able to sleep till ten in the morning and even asks her mother to get her milk. She is lazy about doing even the slightest chore. She wants everything ready-made; everyone to take care of her. Her mother calls for her, her father calls for her, but she only wants to whittle the day away. Although love exists within her nature, it does not develop because she continually accepts help and favors from her mother, her father and her siblings. However, from the moment she becomes a mother, she resembles a little engine which works as much as it is forced to, because love constantly works within her. Before, she would have hated touching anything dirty and immediately would have found aromatic soap to wash with. But after, when the child becomes dirty and she needs to wash him, she takes him and says…my sweetheart! She is not repulsed by it anymore. In the beginning, if you wake her, she yells, because she doesn’t want to be disturbed. But after, when the child cries, she stays up all night without difficulty. She cares for the baby and rejoices. Why? Because she is no longer a child. She has become a mother and with it has come sacrifice and love. Read more →

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Children and the Spiritual Life

—Geronta, if a mother gives holy water to her child and he spits it out, what should she do?

—She should pray for her child. Maybe the way in which she gives the holy water to her child causes a reaction. For the child to be on the path of God the parents must also live right spiritually. Some parents who are religious strive to help their children to become good, not because they are concerned for the salvation of their souls, but because they what to have good children. In other words, they are more worried about what people will say about their child instead of whether they might go to hell. So how can God help? The aim is not for children to go to church through compulsion, but to love the church; not to do good through compulsion, but to feel the need to do good. The holy lives of parents instruct the souls of their children and they naturally follow. In this way they grow up piously, with health of both soul and body and without spiritual injuries. If parents force their children out of fear of God, He helps and the child is benefited. If, however, they do it out of egoism, then God does not help. Children are often troubled because of their parent’s pride. Read more →

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The Spiritual Life of Spouses

—Geronta, when the husband doesn’t live spiritually, what should the wife do?

—Entrust this to Christ and pray that his heart would soften a little. Little by little Christ will descend into his heart and he will begin to be uneasy. As soon as his heart softens a little she can, for example, ask him to drive her to church. She shouldn’t say, “You should come into church too,” but rather, “Could you please take me to church?” If he takes her all the way there, she can then say, “Since we’re here, let’s go inside a minute and light a candle.” In this way, little by little, perhaps he will go a little further.

—Geronta, is the spiritual father of the wife able also to help the husband in some way? Read more →

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Prayer in the Family

—Geronta, should the entire family do compline together at night?[1]

—They should do compline and say to the small children: “If you want, stay a little while.” When the children are somewhat bigger they can have a rule—for example, fifteen minutes for the older ones, and two to five minutes for the small children—then after their rule, as much as they want. If the parents make them stay for all of compline they’ll resent it. Parents shouldn’t pressure their children because they don’t yet understand the power and value of prayer. Parents, you could say, are able to eat beans and meat: hearty food. But when a little child is still only drinking milk, should they tell him to eat meat because it is strengthening? Maybe it is more strengthening, but the poor thing can’t even digest it. That’s why starting out they should give him little pieces of meat and broth, so that he’ll want more. Read more →

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The Practice of Virtue Within the Family

— Geronta, how can a husband become practiced in the virtues?

— God will give him opportunities. Many men, however, after asking God to give them opportunities to practice the virtues, grumble when they are faced with a certain difficulty. For example, sometimes the Good God, in His boundless love, and in order to provide practice in humility and patience, will take away his Grace from the wife, and she will begin acting outlandishly and treating the husband inconsiderately. Then the husband should not complain, but rather rejoice and thank God for the opportunity to struggle which He has given him. Or, a mother asks God to grant her patience. Her little child then comes in, and as soon as she has the table set for dinner, he pulls on the table cloth and everything spills on the floor. At such times it’s as if the child is saying to his mother: “Mama, be patient!” Read more →

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Tender Care for our Neighbor Helps the Family

People today will have as many problems as the amount of material goods they acquire. They neither thank God for His benefactions, nor notice the grief of their fellow-man that they may provide some kind of charity. They squander what they have and don’t even think of their neighbor who does not even have enough to eat. How can the Grace of God come after such things? The head of a family therefore must manage his things to set aside something in order to give alms. He should say to his wife and children that in such-and-such a place there is a certain sick, homeless person, or some poor family who is in great need. If they don’t have money to give, let them say, “Let’s at least give a Christian book, as we have so many.” In giving to those who have need, they do well both to the needy and to their family. Read more →

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